19 1 / 2013
"When I was a kid, I thought a lot about what made me different from the other kids. I don’t think I was smarter than them and I certainly wasn’t more talented. And I definitely can’t claim I was a harder worker — I’ve never worked particularly hard, I’ve always just tried doing things I find fun. Instead, what I concluded was that I was more curious — but not because I had been born that way. If you watch little kids, they are intensely curious, always exploring and trying to figure out how things work. The problem is that school drives all that curiosity out. Instead of letting you explore things for yourself, it tells you that you have to read these particular books and answer these particular questions. And if you try to do something else instead, you’ll get in trouble. Very few people’s curiosity can survive that. But, due to some accident, mine did. I kept being curious and just followed my curiosity."
18 1 / 2013
I usually try not to make resolutions for the new year. They never turn out to be true. Humans are organic, the process of growing is organic, and there are many stimuli that affect this. We are being the subject of so many information, constantly, especially from the internet. So therefore i won’t be the same person i expect to be 3 months later. Resolution didn’t probably suck in the pre-internet era.
There are many things i want to accomplish in this life. I know that i can, if i worked really hard. But all these distractions, they all consume some space in my memory. Most of them unnecessary, like where my friends ate tonight, whether they like it, what my far relatives think about their life, their profile pictures, first and last names of people i will never meet that commented on a photo i was tagged with my friends. All memorised, and kept somewhere. This was bugging me for quite some time. The biggest merit of our time is to concentrate. And i certainly fail on this. I spent most of my free time left from school to study design and coding. All skills that i have today came from that period. But after you reach a threshold, after you realise that school has nothing left to teach you, that they are all theoretical and you are making practical things now, life becomes unbearable. School requires attendance, commitment and sacrifice. You want to make new things, see new places, have brilliant ideas that may be the next big thing, but you can’t lean on those because you are committed to school. You do sacrifice all those things in sake of school. (Btw, for those who don’t know, a Turkish male citizen must complete higher education in order to shorten his compulsory military duty. So quitting school kills your entire life.)
This pretty sums up my last year.
For 2013, my resolutions are to kill all sources of distraction and focus on my work, one by one. Complete my video game. Release a short EP. And read more books. Lots more books.
We’ll see how this will turn out. I’ll try to figure out how to live without the internet as a software developer and record my experiences. My next post will probably be about that. If you completed this post without getting distracted by one notification, a tweet, a call or a message, then you are probably good. Or lucky.
Have a great 2013.
02 11 / 2012
"Dünyada hepimiz sallantılı, korkuluksuz bir köprüde yürür gibiyiz. Tutunacak bir şey olmadı mı insan yuvarlanır. Tramvaydaki tutamaklar gibi. Uzanır tutunurlar. Kim zenginliğine tutunur; kimi müdürlüğüne; kimi işine; sanatına. Çocuklarına tutunanlar vardır. Herkes kendi tutmağının en iyi, en yüksek olduğuna inanır. Gülünçlüğünü fark etmez. Kağızman köylerinden birinde bir çift öküzüne tutunan bir adam tanıdım. Öküzleri besiliydi , pırıl pırıldı. Herkesin, “- Veli ağanın öküzleri gibi öküz, yoktur, ” demesini isterdi. Daha gülünçleri de vardır. Ben, toplumdaki değerlerin ikiyüzlülüğünü, sahteliğini, gülünçlüğünü göreli beri, gülünç olmayan tek tutamağı arıyorum: Gerçek sevgiyi! Bir kadın. Birbirimize yeteceğimizi, benimle birlik düşünen, duyan, seven bir kadın!"